Lost Thoughts

Usually I write a Thanksgiving post, but I guess I didn’t really do that this year. I guess it’s because I feel like they always sound the same, and I’m not even really the big of a celebrator of Thanksgiving. This year’s Thanksgiving didn’t even feel like any day out of the ordinary. Maybe I should start doing a year by year kind of thanks, to make it more unique. Like you know how you have new year’s resolutions, well you could have a this year’s thanks too.

I had a lot of things to say though, other stuff. Things that I thought of while writing in my head, as Ms. Satterstrom called it. I guess I do write in my head a lot. Stored somewhere in my mind, there are thousands and thousands of incompleted journal entries that pop in my head at the time and I never really have either the memory, the time, or the desire to actually write them down. Some of them do end up written down, but most don’t. I honestly don’t remember at all, not even the topic, of what I was going to say.

I actually don’t know why I’m blogging either. My first and probably most important final for me is in less than a week, but I haven’t really studied much over the weekend. Instead, I watched episodes 1-14 of this new drama that I found, and plan to watch 15 and 16 today, so I can “focus” and “study hard” this week following up to that damned, dreaded final. I’m not exactly sure how well that plan will pan out. Usually it doesn’t work out that way, especially since I have my essay due Friday, but I guess we’ll see. Wow. I just realized that this is my last week of classes – that’s freaking insane! I can’t believe how quickly time flew by. And I know that I keep saying that and saying that but seriously I can’t believe it, I have no idea where all of my time went this quarter. I always say stuff like “Wow, can you believe it’s already 7th week?” but it hasn’t really hit me until just now that HOLY SHIT after this week we won’t have these classes ever again! Nuts.

I scheduled last night. My schedule is still kind of ugly, despite the fact that I got all the classes that I wanted. I was the 20th person to sign up for my GE discussion that has a capacity of 20 people. I checked my enrollment and it also turns out that someone had dropped the econ discussion that I wanted, so I’m actually enrolled now, and not just on the waitlist That makes me 행복해~ (:

That’s another thing. Since I’ve been obsessed with this new drama and since I’ve been taking Korean classes, I am now thinking in like… konglish. Because half the stuff I’m hearing in Korean anyways, haha. But it’s weird because my Korean isn’t good enough so it doesn’t really work out that well. Oh well. I have to go now. I’m in the hotel room, supposed to be checked out (they keep checking back) and was waiting for my download to finish, and now that it has, I have to go. 안녕!

Friends and Lonerism

I keep saying in my head that there is no one here, I am the only one left on campus, it’s so quiet, but really, I think it’s all just in my head. I’ve been in my room alone so many times, but it’s completely different knowing that no one’s going to be back anytime soon. I don’t know. It’s weird and I don’t like it. I actually managed to convince myself that basically everyone had returned home, but then when I went outside for dinner, there are still so many lights on in dorm rooms, people walking around, and De Neve is bustling with lively activity. It’s all my mentality, I know, but I can’t help it, I still feel so alone.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned this year, or maybe reaching all the way back into my high school years, it’s that I hate being alone. I’ve made a lot of great friends at college – it’s so easy to become close to people fast – and I know it’s bad but it makes me feel like a ton of my friends back home aren’t much of friends at all. I mean, of course, there’s my super close friends that I’ll always have, but the people who you thought you would keep in touch with but never really did, the people who only contacted you when they needed something in specific, the people who made excuses to sign off instead of talking to you, the people who never made much of an effort to keep in touch… are those people really even your friends?

Maybe it’s only in the context of being in juxtaposition with the close friends that I’ve made in college when I can finally see all of this clearly. Or perhaps I already knew it, but also knew that disclaiming them as my friends would make me essentially a loner that prevented me from doing so.

I don’t really know but either way, the music I was just listening to (I had to change it) was really killing my mood and really hindered me from thinking clearly, it was so obnoxious.

Friday Five

I am back on Firefox because Chrome began malfunctioning with me. Tabs would randomly stop working/allowing you to browse to websites and it happened so frequently that I just gave up. I also miss my Firefox add-ons, like highlight and such. Chrome does look cool though. But then again, what did you expect, it’s google.

1. Could you live without your phone for 1 week for $500? Use someone else’s phone.
2. Whom do you talk to on the phone the most? I don’t really know anymore. Christine, I guess, but then sometimes not really. And I mean who do I call the most or who do I talk to on the phone the most? I think those would warrant two different answers.
3. Whom do you no longer talk to on the phone but wish you still did? I have no idea. No one in particular that I can think of…
4. If you could get a hold of one celebrity phone number, whose digits would you want? Well even if I had their number, wouldn’t that be an extremely awkward conversation? “Um hi I have your number because I stalk you and I’m your number one fan!” *click*… from their side. I don’t think I would call them, to be honest. So I guess it doesn’t really matter.
5. Do you talk on the phone more or less than you used to? More? Less? Than what? I don’t really know. I think I talk on the phone less, and especially because I see a handful of my friends everyday now so yeah. There’s also the internet, IMing, video chatting, ya know.

I don’t know if I should go to Diwali tonight. I kind of want to but I want to also be able to leave whenever I want to, if I don’t like it or whatever, and I don’t know if you can do that or what. What’s the dealio? I feel like everyone is going away this weekend, so I really will be completely anti-social. But hopefully that means that I’ll be getting some work done. Rissa and I are planning a Full House marathon though!! Excited~ I keep thinking about the 곰 세 마리 song whenever I hear that counter in Korean class, haha. I’m sooo glad that midterms are finally done though (just have to worry about this cluster essay and finals). Quarters go by so quickly it’s ridiculous. If you think about it, 10 weeks isn’t a lot at all. It’s like just a bit over two months. I can’t believe that it’s November already, because it definitely does not seem like it when I look and walk outside. It is currently 88 degrees outside right now, and that’s probably after having cooled down. Tell me that’s not ridiculous.

Anyways. I want some non-dorm food. For some strange reason, my ramen’s looking really good, even though I know in reality it’s not. I should probably save it. But damnnn why have I started getting hungry around 4 now?

P.S. I know it sounds geeky but I’m excited for new new WordPress to come out. I wish they would just release it already!

Scheduling and Whatnot

I’m being demanded to post, but I have no idea what to talk about. I’m pretty on top of things as of late, if I do say so myself. No school tomorrow is nice too. I wanted to go to Six Flags tomorrow since Jake’s floor is going, but I have my math midterm on Wednesday and figured that I should probably make studying for that my priority instead. Lame, I know, but whatever. There will be other chances. I found out early this morning (read: 3am) that I passed out of English Composition 3, which is good, and I have this suspicion that the results from that test have been up there for a while but I just didn’t notice. I’m stupid – it happens, haha. It’s good though. After I took that test, I figured that either one of two things could have happened: I had just written a brilliant essay once again (I’m so humble, I realize) or I had completely bombed that essay and the person who wrote the article they assigned us to analyze and write an essay about was one of the essay readers and would hate me for what I said in my essay. I didn’t even really write on topic, to be honest. I esentially twisted the prompt to make it something that I felt like writing about, not something that the readers had really asked me for. I tend to do that, I realized. I always have to make my essays different, relate them to a bigger picture of something else, take the topic and put it into a completely different context. I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing, but I guess this time at least, it worked.

So yeah. Long story short, I don’t have to take English Composition 3 next quarter and my schedule won’t be all screwed up. Plus, I have a higher guarentee that I’ll get the schedule that I want so it’ll look all nice and pretty. I was thinking about taking four classes next quarter, but nothing really fits with my schedule either. With the lecture times of both my Korean and GE Cluster classes, pretty much no other class is available (other than my 8am Econ 41 class -_-).

아아아~~ 추다. It’s easy to get close fast to people in college. I’m closer to people I’ve known for seven weeks than I am with people I’ve gotten to know over the last four years. It’s kind of nice though. I like that aspect of college. I feel like I should be getting more involved though. Doing more. Joining more. My excuse is that I eventually will, I just need to get my grades up for this quarter… which is kind of true, I know, but a part of me is just damn tired of waiting for myself to get past my excuses and actually start doing stuff. We’ll see how that goes.

Well. I also wrote this entry to procrastinate starting my essay, of which the outline and first two paragraphs are due this Friday. I swear, the work never stops, especially if you take GE Clusters. Thank God I don’t have to take Eng Comp 3 next quarter Maybe I should go work on that essay though… T_T