Winter Break is Ending

Wow. As I was thinking about what to title this entry, the line that came to mind was, “Summer’s ending.” I am clearly losing my mind. Anyways, Winter Break is ending, and I don’t want to go back, even though I am excited about my Korean class. It makes me giddy. Because it makes me think of Big Bang.

I really don’t have a good reason to be posting here, actually. I’m just waiting so I can go to Borders and buy more books before I leave tomorrow – 30% off! I just thought I’d share this picture in the meantime:

I stayed up last night making a T.O.P wallpaper for myself, and I am in the process of thinking about a T.O.P layout, which would mean that I have to leave WordPress.com to put it up, so I’ve set up another account for me elsewhere where I can install WordPress again and continue this blog. I’m pretty tired of the standard template layouts here, to be honest. I’m never really satisfied, and I think that photoshopping is something that I’d like to get back into. So look forward to that.

I’m leaving tomorrow! And mourning the loss of my free time to read, gah. I actually feel like reading a good fictionpress story right now, to be honest. I also started writing a fanfic… but I doubt it’ll go anywhere (three guesses who it’s about). The problem with me and writing is that ideas weave in and out of my head but the inspiration for one solid story never stays long enough to get me anywhere.

Not Ready Anymore

I can’t believe it’s Friday already. Not only is it Friday though, but it’s also Friday, June 27th, one day before I leave for Paris. I’ve never felt this strongly about not going on a trip before, I don’t think. I mean, the feeling has always snuck up on me like this, but never this bad. I’m scared, nervous, and I know what it is I’m craving at the moment (to be around my friends) so perhaps the idea of me being alone with myself for 15+ hours is just a bit nausating for me at the moment, not to mention the 32 days after those 15 hours of being in a foreign country where I have no friends and have to start all over again from scratch.

Some people like to run away from their problems. Usually, I’m a part of that group of “some people.” However, this time it’s really weird, because I feel like staying. I feel like making myself fully go through it all and get over it all without feeling like I’m just fleeing the scene when things get rough and life throws me an obstacle to get over. It’s weird because I feel like I’m running, and usually I would be, but I’m not really. I don’t know. I’m just not ready for France at all. I don’t speak or understand French. I have no idea why I thought this would be a good idea – who let me do this?!

Theme: International Travel

1. You have the summer and plenty of money to travel abroad. Where all would you go? I’m going to France, so I guess that might answer your question. I’m also going to Hawaii, and then Los Angeles for orientation. Korea would be awesome though.
2. What foods would you be sure you got to eat? I have no idea what foods I will eat. French food. Intelligent answer…
3. What landmarks would you be sure you got to see? Le Tour Eiffel, the Seine River, Notre Dame, um… that’s pretty much the extent of my knowledge of touristy things
4. What airline would you use? Delta, apparently.
5. Would your knowledge of other languages influence where you went? (i.e. would you be more likely to go to France if you spoke French) Definitely. I like to know the language before I go someplace, which my mom says is going to extensively limit where I go, and she’s probably right, and I’m sure that one day I’ll bring myself to get over it.

I have no idea what gave me the urge to do Friday Fives again. Maybe I’m procrastinating packing. I can’t find the jacket I want to bring, so I’m thinking of bringing something different (ingenious idea, right?). I feel like I’ve packed too much though (I tend to do that) so I should probably go over everything I’ve packed as well. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just avoiding it all. I’m actually feeling a lot better after talking to random people about me not wanting to go. But I’m still not liking the idea of 15 hours alone with myself, especially in my kind of self-downer mood right now. I don’t know what else there is to say. Send me emails. Write me a ton: ajsoohoo{AT}gmail{DOT}com. I’ll write you back. I know I’m nowhere near ready for this trip, but like it or not, it’s happening. I feel like I have a lot more things to pack but then when I think about it there’s not really that much. I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I just want my friends, but I feel like I’m losing two already, and it’s kind of out of my control. Oh well. I mean, I know it’s not cool to be all nonchalant about losing friends like that, especially over things so stupid, but what can you do? “There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore, and who always will… so don’t worry about people from your past, there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.” I think that pretty much sums it up right there. Love that quote. It’s so true.

If you couldn’t tell, I’ve lost the energy/drive to properly complete this blog entry… I guess I won’t really be updating this while I’m in Paris. I usually try not to go on the computer too much when I’m on a vacation like France because I’m supposed to be out there, living, and creating memories, not sitting in front of my computer in the same position as I could be back home. Although I too need some moments to just wind down and do nothing, admittedly. I don’t really update this much though to begin with, so yeah. I’ll probably just post up some fatty entry about it all after it’s all over. I really hope I don’t forget anything! Ack. And yet here I am… still in front of my computer typing this pointless entry when I could be double-checking.

15+ hours with Alyssa. Yay. I know you’re jealous…

Shinhwa 10th Anniversairy

I’m still waiting on my poster, but look what arrived in the mail yesterday.

I’m pretty pschyed. I also learned that people are really rude to you once they learn that you’re not buying from them. Assholes. Like you can’t just be nice.

Boredom Will Be the Death of Me

I’M SO BORREEEEDDDDD. Remind me again why I told Joanne I want to sit at home and do nothing!!! Ahhhhhhhh. I mean. It’s better than school, for sure, but I’m bored and hella thirsty and I can only drink so much flavorless water before I go insane. I wantt soddaaaa or jamba jamba juice

I’m beginning to rethink my decision about signing up with ISA this summer, but at the same time, I guess there’s not really much I can do… and then on the second thought, what the freaking ever! I’m sure I’ll have fun anyways, but still it’s a little nerve-racking to think I’m going to be with college students and I feel like omg college, that’s so much older than me! When really it’s not, but I feel like it is and like I’m totally unprepared socially… even though a lot of my friends tend to be older than me anyways and I mean, they’re still the same people!

Blah. Phim interviewed me for ficlics. It’s kind of short, lol, but it definitely took a lot longer than it looks like it did. I was really surprised though when she asked, especially since I don’t even write fanfiction anymore. Looking through that forum though brings back memories. Like awww I remember when I wanted to write about DongBang boys too! It’s funny actually; when February 6th came this year, I still remembered, “Oh. It’s Yunho’s birthday!” Love. It’s kind of like whenever July 28th comes around and I know that something is that day, even if I don’t remember right away that it’s Minwoo’s birthday.

I should be studying for Econ. Really. GAH. Microeconomics drives me insane. SCHOOOLL. Ick. I think I maybe did ONE scholarship application during this whole break. Way to be productive, Alyssa.

On the second thought, maybe I’ll go find something else to read…

Ode to Christiensen

Hayden Christiensen is like a freaking Greek God.

Go see Jumper. It’s good. He’s hot. I nearly died.
But it was totally worth it.

RIP Heath Ledger

I hate to sound like everyone else, because everyone’s probably heard it so many times by now, but I still can’t believe that Heath Ledger died…

R.I.P. 01.22.08

Et moi? Moi, je me sens très malade… -.-;;